Words of Wisdom

I'm reading the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch.  It's about a man dying of pancreatic cancer.  As I'm reading he reflects on life lessons.  Here are two lessons from one chapter that particularly struck me:

One was about his youth football coach:

"Coach Graham used to ride me hard.  I remember one practice in particular.  "You're doing it all wrong, Pausch.  Go back!  Do it again!"  I tried to do what he wanted.  It wasn't enough.  "You owe me, Pausch!  You're doing push-ups after practice."  When I was finally dismissed, one the assistant coaches came over to reassure me.   "Coach Graham rode you pretty hard, didn't he?"  he said.  I could barely muster a "yeah."  "That's a good thing," the assistant told me.  "When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you."  

This is a different look into criticism and how we take it.  I often think it's because someone doesn't believe in me, but is a great perspective.  

The second quote: 

"There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem.  It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build.  Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone.  Self-esteem?  He knew there was really only one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they an do it, and you just keep repeating the process."  

I like this.  This is why we want our kids to be good at something.  It is important for them to know they are loved beyond "doing" anything, but once a kid takes off at something, it can really build confidence.  I remember learning the Rachmaninoff "Prelude in C# Minor" for my Senior Piano Recital.  I honestly didn't think I could do it.  But, after MUCH practice and hard work, I was able to get it down.  I remember thinking, "if I can do this, I can do anything!"  

My Dad: A Tribute

There are a few things you only do once in your life.  On Wednesday I did one of those - I buried my dad, Robert (Bob) Vukmirovich.  Many friends and family gathered to pay tribute to a very special man.  On Tuesday night, after a short Eastern Orthodox memorial service (my parents are Serbian Orthodox), I had the chance to talk about my dad.  Though it was hard to do, I felt like it was something that I NEEDED to do.  With my mother, wife, children, friends and family watching, I spoke of dad.  This is basically what I said:

So many people over the past few days have told me how kind and patient my dad was.  I thought about how they perceived these character traits.  What it really came down to for me was that my dad was FULLY PRESENT wherever he was.  If he was talking with you, he would put aside distractions and really focus on you.  This was often in contrast to my mom and I who are frequently known to say things like "there's a bird!" during conversations.  My dad gave of himself to you, enjoying the moment.  A particular example of this was when he and my daughters would play "the quiet game" while they traveled in the car.  Who could be quiet for the longest was the goal.  My dad, (they call him Deh-da - the Serbian word for grandpa) would usually let the kids win as all grandparents should.  On one particular playing "the quiet game", Deda "lost" by saying "I love rainbows!" - one of those random, kind of out-there statements.  If you saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory think "I love grapes!"  So this phrase began to be adopted by our family as a message of being in the moment.  You'll hear my kids every once in a while say "I love rainbows!"  A great way to remember Deda.

My dad also had an incredible desire for touch.  It would have been one of his top Love Languages - a book by Gary Chapman.  This was true every time we got together.  I wouldn't just give him a quick "hey there" hug.  No, these hugs were the real deal.  It was intentional touch time.  I remember one time when I was very young.  Waiting for Christmas Eve guests to arrive.  Now our family is Serbian.  And Serbian time runs anywhere from 15-45 minutes behind the rest of the world.  So I was waiting for cousins to come open presents.  I was getting tired too from all the excitement.  So, I cuddled up to my dad in our sweet Avocado green La-z-boy recliner.  This was the type with the smooth, kind of pleather finish.  Bring on the 70's baby!  So we squeezed in the chair together and we both took a little nap.  I felt safe in the lap of my daddy.  So I rested.  I think that's kind of what my dad just went through.  He was tired, so he crawled up into the lap of his heavenly daddy and is now at rest after a long and tiring journey.  

So that's what I said.  Much more could have been said, but I wanted dad to be honored by brevity.  He would have liked that.  More smiles about his life than tears about his death.  I think that's the way I want to go out.  

I thought I'd finish by letting people know some things about my dad:

- he loved tech toys - we had the first "portable" VCR (11 lbs) on our street 

- he loved model trains - we used make a track that would go around the entire basement

- he loved to sing - a church choir member and director for over 50 years

- he was a chemist - 41 years at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit

- he loved crossword puzzles - everyday Detroit Free Press, New York Times on the weekends

- he loved gardening - especially flowers

- he hated eggs - any kind, prepared any way - even in this last hospital stay he asked "no eggs"

- he had the driest sense of humor - many a groan at his jokes

- he never had an unkind word to say about anyone

- he adored my mom - in his last years he called her "his hero"

- he was my biggest cheerleader (before my wife) - his words were always "you can do it!"

- he was enamored by his grandaughters - always on his mind and heart

- he was a man who was well loved

- he was a man who loved well (for this I am forever grateful)

Wanna Have Success Selling on iTunes

Here's an article that might help.

Um....

Thoughts?

Thanks, Jeff.

Baptism: A Dad's Perspective

Just had to put these up.  It was a sacred honor and privilege to baptize both of my girls.  This was a next step in their growing faith in Christ.  We've seen their growth as they pray, as they serve, as they share their faith.  This was the year.  On Sunday, both of my girls drove a stake in the ground to remember the covenant they made before God and many people - to love, follow and serve Christ all their days.  It was, as I said before, a day to remember.

A Day to Remember

Yesterday was one of those days.  If you saw the movie, "Groundhog Day", it was one of those I would feel great about repeating.  

Quick rundown of the day:

• Slept in.  (Bonus: kids slept in!)
• Coffee mix was just right
• Read Bible and praised God for some amazing things the day prior
• Took a shower/shaved my head - NO CUTS
• Prayed with Lisa and my girls for the upcoming baptisms
• Came to church during the 9:30 service and there was ONE PARKING SPOT available!
• Baptized a whole group of people with Dr. Bob, including my new neighbor Marcie Herman 
• Between baptisms, hung out with my brother, Jason Miller.  I always walk away closer to Jesus after hanging with him.
• Completely overwhelmed by the attendance at the 11:30 service and was brought to tears as almost half the crowd came forward to receive Christ. 427 at that service alone!
• Baptized John Nace.  A special guy with a special story.
• Felt so loved by our church family and friends who came to watch Anna and Sophie be baptized!  Our friends the Geschkes and Longcors (who came from Goshen) were cool surprises!  
• Baptized Anna.  I couldn't even get the first words out.  Seeing my wife in the pool and Dr. Bob.  After catching my breath, I was able to finish.  I saw a radiant young woman of God emerge from the waters.
• Baptized Sophie.  Her sweet, calm responses to the 3 questions about her commitment to Christ.  Then as we lifted her from the waters, hearing the crowd around us cheer.  That was great!
• Gave each of the kids a cross necklace to commemorate the day.  And they were fully grateful!  
• Went to Logan's after church and had a great steak, baked potato, and the ROLLS, baby!  Our server, Kaitlyn, was top notch as well.
• Hung out on the bench outside of Walmart with my brother, Corey Mann.  Great to catch up and hear his heart.
• Got home and a slew of little girls were hanging out around our house.  Lauren Baker and Sophie got heavily into dressup.  No fights between anyone!  
• Kids off to bed.
• Watered our plants outside.  Always a time for reflection on the day for me.  Good time with God.
• Spent some great time with Lisa

It was a great day.  One of the best in recent history for me.  God is good.

Holding Steady

Thanks for everyone's prayers. My dad is holding steady. Fairly lucid - He asked for Diet Coke :). Yesterday the doctors were telling us that we had hours. Today they are telling us weeks. We are now asking what is next. This is where we will need a great deal of wisdom. Thanks for anyone who would lift up a prayer on behalf of our family.

Update on Dad

Thanks for all your prayers.  My dad is stable but in pretty rough shape.  They didn't catch him before the 3 hour window that can make all the difference in rehabilitating most of the stroke damage.  He is at Detroit's Henry Ford Hospital (where he worked as a chemist for 40 years) and they are performing an MRI today.  I'll be heading up to Detroit after services tomorrow.  My mom felt that not much will change between now and then, so we're going with that.  

Specifics for prayer:

1. My mom and I will need to make some pretty tough decisions regarding my dad's care from here on out.  This could include semi-permanent nursing home care.
2. My mom's house is way too big for her to handle and though she has been doing most of the maintenance (and hiring a lot), she'll probably need to move.  The Detroit housing market STINKS, so we'll need that to pray about.
3. If my dad somehow is able to recover from all of this, his "good leg" often will get a bed sore on the heel which takes months to heal because of his diabetes and poor circulation. If we could pray for a well-taken-care-of heel, that would rock.

Thanks again everyone for all the well wishes and prayers.   

Prayers Needed

Hi everyone,

Just need prayers for my dad, Bob, who had a stroke this morning.  He has total paralysis on his entire left side.  He was taken to the hospital this morning by ambulance.  My mom is shaken.  Our hope is in Christ that His Kingdom is revealed in all of this.  

5 Years (and 3 days)

I just remembered that it was five years ago on August 24th that I came to Granger Community Church to be "Pastor of Music and Drama".  Since then, my role has evolved to drop the "drama" part of the title.  Kristin Baker is much more capable than I and is running point on an amazing drama ministry.

Five things I've learned in these past five years (I've learned a lot more, but this is a blog you know):

• It's either about Jesus or about me; it can't be both.
• Prepping to lead worship is much more than musical - it's "on your face time" before God 
• The team outperforms the individual in the long run, everytime.
• The three P's of ministry with volunteers: PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE.
• Key friendships are just that, KEY.

We've grown so much here.  I'm thankful for 5 great years.  GCC is a great people to be part of.

Chalk Dan

This is me through the eyes of my daughter Sophie.  Check out the sweet KICKS!  

"For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

Creating Space

This morning I had the chance to have my monthly breakfast with my daughter Anna.  We head to Bob Evans restaurant on or around her birthday date each month.  I stole this idea from Mark Beeson about a year ago.  She ALWAYS gets the Little Farmer's breakfast (which is quite the deal for $3.00).  I ALWAYS try to LISTEN with both my EARS and my HEART.  Making the space for this is crucial to me in really knowing my daughters well (I do this with Sophie too).  

This particular morning was great since we had a chance to wander the campus of Notre Dame as well.  Through a few comments that Anna made, I was able to literally hear her heart.  Knowing what my daughter is going through allows me to be much more specific in my prayers for them.  I have a focus for this next season that I will bring before Christ daily, on behalf of Anna.  I'm fully expecting God to do some amazing things in this area of her life.  

Without the breakfast and the time to just pull away from everything that distracts - TV, computer, cell phone, etc - I would not have had the opportunity to hear this.  I'm grateful for Anna and for the time we intentionally spend together.

Thoughts on Worship

I've been reading Marva Dawn's book: Reaching Out without Dumbing Down.  It has been challenging me in several ways with regard to worship.  I don't agree with all that she writes (as if that would be a good thing).  I do love her heart.

Here are a few things I like so far:

• "The entire act of Christian worship is a gift to God of the entirety of the worshipers' lives."  This goes against an attitude which might say "I didn't get anything out of the service today."  Ultimately, who are we gathering for?  Us or God?
• "Genuine praise of God depends upon truth.  It is not just an attitude of appreciation or an emotion of well-being or delight; instead, it acknowledges a superlative quality or deed.  Praise does not express our own yearnings or wishes; it responds to something given to us."  This is a what we are moving to at GCC.  More time to respond to God's truth.  I think it's working.  It is so good to be presented with truth and then have the space to process it and ultimately respond in praise of the One who allows us to recognize it.
• "Churches actually do worship participants a disservice if their praise of God ignores life's harsh realities and God's presence in the midst of them.  To be only upbeat is to be unbiblical."  Agreed.  If people experience only the aspect of joy in church, they may come to suspect that the people of the church are plastic.  That "real life" is being swept under the rug while we put on happy smiles for weekend services.
• "Worship must center on God, glorify Christ, involved people, express praise, communicate the truth of the Bible, encourage faith, promise redemption, reflect the incarnation, build up the Church, instill vision, make an offering, nurture communion, and evoke an 'Amen'."  This is certainly not an exhaustive list (from C. Welton Gaddy), but it is a good place to start.  The challenge is to discern what emphasis God desires in a given service.  Obviously all of these elements cannot receive the same amount of attention in one service.  In the fullness worship over a given season, I agree that these should be covered.

As we move through different changes at GCC, I'm sure we'll continue to wrestle with defining what our worship looks like.  I'm thrilled at this challenge.

Our Newest Family Member

We just picked this little guy (or girl) up last night.  Waiting on the name since our hamster will be shared with Lisa's Montessori classroom.  The thing is just so stinkin' cute.  It's so cute, that I'll tolerate poop.  Yes, it pooped on me about 12 times when I held it this morning.  Should be a fun pet.

TODAY

This is me.  Many moons ago, in ancient times, when bad hair days meant something to me.

I am older now.  

I have less hair.

I believe I have more wisdom.

I am less fully dependent on others.

I am more in need of true friends.

I need an "'atta boy!" less.

I choose to give extravagant encouragement whenever possible.

I have less time to sleep.

I make more time to dream.

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." 1 Cor. 13:11

I'm thankful that God has given me the incredibly blessed life that I have.  A Savior who lives, breathes, and is fully present in every aspect of my life.  A wife who shows me what true loyalty and sacrifice is all about.  Two kids who help me learn to celebrate the JOY of the moment.  A church that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, has helped me draw closer to God.  Friends who lift me up and challenge me to greater things.  Today, I am truly grateful.  TODAY is the best gift I can receive.

New Blog

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm switching the series on OneThought to a new blog at www.onethought.net.  

My hope and desire is that this will be a helpful tool for people desiring to simplify by simply focusing on OneThought each day based on Scripture.  I may add images in the future.  If you have any ideas for making that particular site more engaging, let me know.  This blog, will be more sharing of what God has going on in our lives as a family, church and community.  Thanks.  Take care.

One Thought

Today:

HOLY

"As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy." 1 Peter 1:14-15

One Thought

Today:

TRANSFORMED

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1

One Thought

Today:

BELIEVE

"Then the man said, 'Lord, I believe,' and he worshiped him." John 9:38

One Thought

Today:

GOOD

"Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!" Psalm 34:8